The Secret to Employee Engagement: Work Best Friends
“Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling…We are called to build a movement to mend the social fabric of our nation. It will take all of us—individuals and families, schools and workplaces…working together to destigmatize loneliness and change our cultural and policy response to it. It will require reimagining the structures, policies, and programs that shape a community to best support the development of healthy relationships.”
– Former United States Surgeon General, Vivek H. Murthy
Workers are Lonely
Loneliness-caused absenteeism costs United-States-based employers an estimated $154 billion annually (1).
Lonely employees are less productive, less empathetic, and less engaged (2). Over 60% of workers consider themselves lonely (3) and over 40% do not have a true friend at work. More than half would accept less pay in exchange for better workplace friendships (4). Workers crave connection.
Workplace loneliness and workplace engagement are naturally linked. Those who have a best friend at work are among the most engaged: Gallup finds these employees are more likely to recommend the company as a great place to work, less likely to leave the organization, and more satisfied with their job (5). The U.S. Surgeon General’s Social Connection Advisory also emphasized the importance of friendship, noting that connected employees experience “enhanced individual innovation, engagement, and quality of work…” (6).
For leaders considering the impact of friendship in their organization—what are friendship’s benefits, potential pitfalls, and how can leaders facilitate these relationships?
The Benefits of Friends in the Workplace
Busy leaders must prioritize. Spending valuable employee hours on relationship-building activities can seem like a diversion from more pressing tasks. Leaders may ask themselves, “Is it worth the company’s time to invest in workplace friendships?”
The research argues “yes.”
Higher retention rates
Disconnected employees have a quit rate nearly 40% higher than their connected colleagues (7). Leaders who build a culture of belonging, connection, and friendship will retain more workers.
Increased tacit knowledge sharing
Tacit knowledge originates within a worker who has years of extensive experience and expertise. Unlike “explicit” knowledge, it cannot be codified, documented in numbers, or written in a manual. Tacit knowledge lives within a worker’s mind. Because of its informal nature, it is impossible for competitors to recreate. Organizations that facilitate workplace friendships will notice increased tacit knowledge sharing, as frequent, high-quality interactions between friends enable the flow of this rare information (8).
More professional development
Meaningful work friendships bring immense value to those involved in them. Employees who have friends undergo more development than their isolated peers. A BetterUp study of over 3,000 U.S. workers found that when nurturing friendships with colleagues, employees achieved over 40% more personal and professional growth compared to those who did not (9).
Higher engagement
Employees with a workplace best friend are 7 times more likely to be engaged (10). These workers have a strong sense of ownership over tasks, as genuine workplace friendships give them someone to be accountable to. People do not want to disappoint their best friends (11).
Stronger remote workers
Workers with friends are better prepared to manage the solitary and sometimes asynchronous nature of remote work (12). Gallup writes that workplace best friends keep remote workers informed, connected, and accountable to their team. Remote workers can find a safe place in their friends, with Gallup finding, “An employee can ask their best friend at work ‘dumb’ questions…without fear of embarrassment.” (13)
Better workplace environment
Friendly, connected workplaces are 14 times more likely to be named as a “best place to work” and 25% more likely to be recommended by employees to their friends. On average, these organizations have 32% higher ratings than competing companies (14).
Longer life expectancy
Workers who have community and companionship have lower risk of anxiety, cardiovascular disease, dementia, depression, and stroke. Friendship prolongs workers’ lives (15).
“If we facilitate the connections that humans need during the day (or whenever our employees work), then we can go to sleep at night knowing we're lengthening the lives, boosting the health, reducing the stress, and strengthening the mental health of humanity in general, instead of being the ones blamed for their burnout, exhaustion, and poor health.”
― Shasta Nelson, The Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our Time
Potential Pitfalls - Behavioral Contagion
Workplace friendships aren’t without their challenges. By facilitating positive relationships, leaders can protect the health of their workplace culture.
“Nothing is so contagious as example…”
– Author François de La Rochefoucauld
In an engagement study of a multinational Fortune 500 company, researchers analysed company social media data of over 100,000 employees. Through public status updates, the researchers watched as engagement and disengagement spread through the organization from peer to peer.
The researchers documented a behavioral contagion effect, where a single employee’s engagement rippled through the organization and created groups of engaged or disengaged workers. Passionate, innovative, and connected employees begot other engaged colleagues, whereas checked-out, burned out, and unhappy workers created disengaged employees. Engagement and disengagement were contagious.
Interestingly, disengaged employees exerted the strongest influence over others. Even more contagious than engagement, their disengagement proved to be a powerful and destructive force in the company.
Another study, titled “Catching Rudeness is Like Catching a Cold”, had similar findings. The researchers found that poor behaviors, such as rudeness, are contagious in the workplace (16). While organizations address high-intensity negative conduct such as harassment or abuse, rudeness often goes unchecked. This research shows that leaders should not tolerate even one person’s rudeness, because in doing so, they risk that the behavior will spread to other workers.
Despite the scary notion that disengagement can be a powerful force in an organization, leaders should be energized knowing that engagement is also contagious. When a coworker or manager exhibits pride in their work and feels a connection to the company, their peer is more likely to become engaged.
Recommendation for leaders:
Use behavioral contagion to your advantage and pair new hires with an exemplar employee during onboarding. The selected employee should be proud to work for your company, find meaning and purpose in their work, and can pass on the organizational language and culture. Their positive view of your company will spread to the new hire.
Leaders, remember–do not confuse disagreement with disengagement. Sometimes, the employees who challenge leaders the most care deepest about the company’s mission.
How Leaders Can Facilitate Workplace Friendships
“Leadership is best defined as crafting the environment in which excellence happens.”
– JW Rayhons
Leaders who want to facilitate workplace friendships but are unsure of where to start, here is what the research recommends:
Purposefully pair team members to promote friendships. Gallup recommends that leaders schedule manager-employee conversations, which could reveal new ways to compose work groups. This is a tangible, practical way managers can foster relationships in the workplace.
Allow workplace socialization. Leaders should ask themselves, do my employees have permission to socialize during work hours? Do they have opportunities to develop close friendships at work? If not, what assignments or requirements prevent my employees from having a best friend at work?
Model friendly communication as a leader. Gallup suggests that leaders send team emails that celebrate anniversaries, spotlight achievements, and encourage appreciation. A culture of recognition, respect, and friendly dialogue opens the door for workplace friendships.
Leaders Need Workplace Friends, Too
“The healthiest work friendships can be critical ballast for leaders, keeping them grounded when their position threatens to isolate them, and flattery or ego to blind them.”
- Speaker, Researcher, and Professor Gianpiero Petriglieri
Often, leaders must be the catalyst that creates the conditions for workplace friendship. Even as they foster positive relationships for others, leaders cannot neglect their own need for companionship. In fact, quality leadership necessitates it.
A study of over 400 employees found that friendship in the workplace stimulated innovation. In the study, friends motivated one another, worked together to solve problems, and supported each other during implementation (20). Leaders, the ones tasked with forging their company’s path, have the honor and the responsibility to innovate. Friendship can be their conduit.
Your Obligation as a Leader
Worker loneliness has profound, long-term consequences for individuals and organizations. Leaders have the opportunity and the obligation to address the issue of isolation and lack of meaningful relationships in the workplace (21). The benefits of facilitating these friendships are enormous. Leaders, please be encouraged: you are creative enough to reimagine workplace structure, you have the scientific support needed to implement new policies, and you are powerful enough to enact cultural change.
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Citations:
(1) U.S. Surgeon General, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community.” 2023.
(2) Maurer, Roy. “Friendship at Work Boosts Employee Well-Being, Engagement, and Performance.” SHRM, October 25, 2024.
(3) Maurer, Roy. “Friendship at Work Boosts Employee Well-Being, Engagement, and Performance.” SHRM, October 25, 2024.
(4) Mark C. Perna, “Employees Want More Friends at Work. Why Aren’t They Finding Them?,” Forbes, July 19, 2022.
(5) Alok Patel and Stephanie Plowman, “The Increasing Importance of a Best Friend at Work,” Gallup.com, August 16, 2022.
(6) U.S. Surgeon General, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community.” 2023.
(7) Mark C. Perna, “Employees Want More Friends at Work. Why Aren’t They Finding Them?,” Forbes, July 19, 2022.
(8) Chunlin Wu et al., “Fragile Interpersonal Relationship in Tacit Knowledge Sharing: How Workplace Friendship Fails under Competition and Functional Similarity,” Production and Operations Management, August 7, 2025.
(9) BetterUp, “The Connection Crisis: Why Community Matters in the New World of Work,” BetterUp Insights, 2022.
(10) Alok Patel and Stephanie Plowman, “The Increasing Importance of a Best Friend at Work,” Gallup.com, August 16, 2022.
(11) Alok Patel and Stephanie Plowman, “The Increasing Importance of a Best Friend at Work,” Gallup.com, August 16, 2022.
(12) Gianpiero Petriglieri, “How to Make Better Friends at Work,” MIT Sloan Management Review, February 12, 2024.
(13) Alok Patel and Stephanie Plowman, “The Increasing Importance of a Best Friend at Work,” Gallup.com, August 16, 2022.
(14) Mark C. Perna, “Employees Want More Friends at Work. Why Aren’t They Finding Them?,” Forbes, July 19, 2022.
(15) U.S. Surgeon General, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community.” 2023.
(16) Trevor Foulk, Andrew Woolum, and Amir Erez, “Catching Rudeness Is like Catching a Cold: The Contagion Effects of Low-Intensity Negative Behaviors.,” Journal of Applied Psychology 101, no. 1 (January 2016): 50–67.
(17) Alok Patel and Stephanie Plowman, “The Increasing Importance of a Best Friend at Work,” Gallup.com, August 16, 2022.
(18) Alok Patel and Stephanie Plowman, “The Increasing Importance of a Best Friend at Work,” Gallup.com, August 16, 2022.
(19) Alok Patel and Stephanie Plowman, “The Increasing Importance of a Best Friend at Work,” Gallup.com, August 16, 2022.
(20) Omar Durrah, “Do We Need Friendship in the Workplace? The Effect on Innovative Behavior and Mediating Role of Psychological Safety,” Current Psychology 42, no. 32 (November 9, 2022): 28597–610.
(21) U.S. Surgeon General, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community.” 2023.
